BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
