Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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