I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
