i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
