You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
