i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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