are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
