my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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