I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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