know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
