I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
