I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
