I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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