so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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