$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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