Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
