Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
