Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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