is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
what day is it and did you see me today?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
