I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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