I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
