There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
