I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
