do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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