I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
