Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
