The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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