Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
only if we run a train.
done.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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