im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
