I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
