yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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