I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
