You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
