Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
