Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
