Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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