There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
