woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
