is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize