What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
