Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
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