So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
