Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
