Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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