i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
