hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
