1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
