Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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