So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
