I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Damn victory sex feels great
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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