if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
