Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
