my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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