Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
